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A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing
happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, INDIA,
they decided to forward it to the President of India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send
the little boy Rs.20. The President thought this would appear to be a
lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid. The
little boy was delighted with Rs.20, and decided to write a thank you
note to God, which read:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan
in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 in taxes ..."
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1. "Funny but true fact !!A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband, A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! ..What do u say?
2. A Man before marriage is - Superman. After Marriage - Gentleman. 5 Years Later - Watchman. 10 Years later - Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.
3. Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho... taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum... "UNMARRIED" ho.
4. Wife: Ek baat bolu par mujhe maarna nahi
Husband:Bolo
Wife:Mai Pregnant hu
Husband:Its Gud news,dar kyo rahi thi
Wife:Shadi ke pehle papa ko bataya tha, badi maar pari thi.
5. Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....
KHUSH RAHO
6. Wife-Shadi ki raat tum ne jab mera ghunghat uthaya to kaisi lagti thi..
Husband-Mai to mar hi jata agar mujhe hanuman chalisa na yaad hoti..!!
7. Why love marriage is better than Arranged???? B'coz a "KNOWN DEVIL" is better than an "UNKNOWN GHOST".
8. Wife: main tumhari yaad mein 2O din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: 2O din aur ruk jaao.
9. A man gave an add in Matrimonial column
"PATNI CHAHIYE"
He got 1000 replies all saying:-
"Meri Le Ja...!"
''Meri Le Ja...!''
10. Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband"Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."
11. Every person is a FREEDOM FIGHTER ........
Immediately after Marriage !!
JAI HIND!!
12. Telling a lie is a
fault for a little boy,
an art for a lover,
an accomplishment for a bachelor and
a Matter of Survival for a married man.
Gud Luck!
13. Woh kahte hain ki hamari biwi swarg ki Apsara hai,
hum ne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai,
hamari to abhi Jinda hai...
Universal Law Of Love:
" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From...One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "
First Law Of Love:
" A Boy In Love With A Girl, Continue To Be In Love With Her And A Girl, In Love With A Boy, Continue To Be In Love With Him, Until Or Unless Any External Agent(Brother Or Father Of The Gal) Comes Into Play And Break The Legs Of The Boy. "
Second Law Of Love:
“The Rate Of Change Of Intensity Of Love Of A Girl Towards A Boy Is Directly Proportional To The Instantaneous Bank Balance Of The Boy And The Direction Of This Love Is Same To As Increment Or Decrement Of The Bank Balance.â€
Third Law Of Love:
“The Force Applied While Proposing A Girl By A Boy Is Equal And Opposite To The Force Applied By The Girl While Slapping."
A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.
He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.â€
In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.â€
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.
And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.â€
Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!â€
PROFESSOR : Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI : Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam, par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT : Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai. Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI : Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT : Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI : Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT : Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL : Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT : Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe. Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI : Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT : Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU : Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI : Kannada kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU : Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PROFESSOR : Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI : Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman. Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN : What is this?
CIRCUIT : Sweet India With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and in shock asks …
ENGLISHMAN : What is that?
CIRCUIT : Air India
CIRCUIT :Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU : Nehin.
CIRCUIT :To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI : Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU : Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI : Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU : B.A.
MUNNA BHAI : Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
~~~~~~~~~
MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
~~~~~~~~~
PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu 
A Very Tragic Love Story (34 votes, average: 3.88 out of 5)
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A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner.
When the girl’s father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it.
Now, it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.
The girl’s father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them .
At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home through a local newspaper. Her father said, “If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly.â€
So in this way, their love won and they returned home.
Next day, the couple went town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in a white shirt that day. While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot.
The girl was ruined and lost her senses. It was only after sometime that she recovered from her shock.
The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl’s father had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked him to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter’s dress as soon as possible. But her father ignored the dream.
The next night, her mother had the same dream, she also ignored it. Then the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes with the blood stains immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained. Next night, she again had the same dream. She again washed the stains but some still remained. But again the next night she had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain or else something terrible would happen.
This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore but some stains still remained. She was very depressed.
In the late evening, the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked on the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up… and gave her a blue object, which shocked the girl.
She asked “What is this…?†The old lady replied…
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“This is Nirma Washing Powderâ€
“Washing powder Nirma,Washing powder Nirma
Doodh si safedi Nirma se aaye,
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,
sabki pasand Nirama
Washing powder Nirma,Washing powder nirma.Nirma…â€
10 ka 1, do pe ek free __________________
Driver mar gaya kya?
Ek baar ek Totaa (Bole to Parrot ) Ud Raha tha full speed par ....
Uske Saamne full speed me ek Ferrari AA rahi thi ...
Dono ki takkar hui ...
Totaa Behosh ...
Raste me Ek Beggar tha
Usne Tote ko uthaya aur Ghar Le gaya ...
Usko Marham lagaya ..
Aur Pinjare me rakh diya ...
Jab Tote ko hosh aaya ...
Usne apne aap ko Pinjare me dekha ...
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Bola ...
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"AAILA ... JAIL .... Who Ferrari ka Driver mar gaya kya ??
Ek bakri thi deewani si ek bakre pe wo marti thi,
Sharma ke poonch hilake galiyon se wo gujarti thi,
Jab bhi wo mila karti thi tumhara photo dikha kar poocha karti thi,
Ye bakra kahan milega? __________________
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