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Q: What's rough and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside, starts with a c, ends with a t, and has a u and an n in it? A: A coconut....
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A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eye patch went to apply to be a pirate. Interviewer: How did you get that peg leg? Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the First World War. Interviewer: How did you get that hook? Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife. Interviewer: What about your eye patch? Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye. Interviewer: And that put your eye out? Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hooks...
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Why'd the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.
Why do the surfs laugh when they frolic through the forest? Because the grass tickles their balls!
About ten years ago, George Bush was visiting Mikhail Gorbachev at the Kremlin. When he got him alone for a moment, he said to Gorbachev, ''Mikhail, can you help me with a problem? I have some doubts about one of the key people under me. How do you decide that someone is smart enough to work for you?'' ''Well, when I was interviewing Eduardo Shevardnadze, I asked him, 'Eduard, who is the son of your father but not your brother?''' ‘‘what did he say?'' Bush asked. ''He said, 'that's me...
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