A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eye patch went to apply to be a pirate. Interviewer: How did you get that peg leg? Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the First World War. Interviewer: How did you get that hook? Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife. Interviewer: What about your eye patch? Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye. Interviewer: And that put your eye out? Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hooks.

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