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Yo' mama so fat she has to call Sherwin-Williams to paint her toenails!

a girl was standing talking to her friends when one of them said “why have you got a tampon behind your ear?” and she responded “s***! then where did i put my cigarette?”... Read More

'There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in. The first man in line started telling his story, ''Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action. I got home and searched all over but I couldn't find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off... Read More

1)In the middle of class, run to the middle of the room screaming, ''I'm on fire!'' Roll around vigorously. 2) Get up to sharpen your pencil as much as possible. 3) Ask your teacher how good their spouse was last night. 4) Talk in a strong English accent. 5) Walk into class halfway through, saying, ''Aren't you glad I decided to come today?'' 6) In the middle of a lesson, jump up holding a Game Boy above your head and scream, ''I win!'' 7) Pick your nose, show it to your friends and say... Read More

Q: Why didn't the Skeleton climb the mountain? A: Because he didn't have the gluts.

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