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Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. That is what their students are for. (from Philip Clarke in New Scientist)... Read More

“No, no, no!” said the penguin, “I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder!” “Surprise! Surprise! That’s not my ear canal either!” Oh no! The leak is coming from the Global Positioning Satellite System again! “Mommy Mommy,” Little Johnny replied, “is that why the soufflé is burnt?” “Tokyo?” Said the nun, “You fool, I said take the hoe!” And then my dad farted and it smelled and I said to my father you farted and it smelled. And slowly, the sheep turn... Read More

The Geography of a Woman Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars. Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty. Between the ages of 35... Read More

Whats another name for a push-up bra? False advertisement.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be opened by the time she brings it to you!... Read More

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