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i have slept with the same man for eight years. not that i mind. i really don't. as with most married women, the arrangement is perfect. a lifetime of loving and caring for the same man can be one rewarding joyride in intimacy and emotional bonding. but if marriage is one long haul drive through life with one the same person, wouldn't you occasionally want some heartstopping side trip on lover's lookout with the man you married without the kids at the backseat?
it is every married man or woman's secret longing to keep the fire burning, if not for a lifetime, at least for a very long time.
people who were married for years would never lie to their closest friends, it could be pretty boring as time gets by. there would be ho-hum evenings, dried up conversations, and muted stares on the walls.
a poet once wrote in a thought provoking piece, "where does love go when it dies?" where indeed? nobody can resurrect a dead man, much less a dead love. but here's the catch: how do you know that it has really breathed its last? i am absolutely certain: a relationship in the doldrums is not dead. it only needs a jackrabbit start.
the trouble (with our romantic mindset) is that we expect every moment of married life to be as intense, as sizzling, as mind boggling as the the first night. it can't be that way always and for a good reason.
experts agree that it is physically taxing to be in love. imagine the sweet syrupy whispers, the meaningful glances from across the room, the endless hours on the phone or the long drives through the countryside. if you'd have to live every day of your life in such a state of high passion, wouldn't you just one day wither from emotional exhaustion?
married love has it's own highs and lows, its raging high noons and dark dreary evenings.
well-adjusted couples know that a relationship is shaped, molded and peppered by the bumpy rides, the detours, the funny mishaps, the unplanned little accidents, even the occasional awkward silence, and not by the smooth cruises along well-paved highways.
so how do you survive a dry spell especially at a time when the world is fevered with so much passion? take it from a race driver: " never say die!"
if a powerful engine barreling through a race track at a thundering speed suddenly sputters to an abrupt halt, you don't simply call it quits and walk away. you do something about it.
driving along a marital superhighway has its own ups and downs, but mostly downs. but give it a second (or even a third, and a fourth) thought, a downtime is really a high time to listen to the secret stirrings of the soul, time to take stock, to perfect the moves and master the maneuvers, so to speak.
brush up on your love notes. learn the art of seduction all over again. it's a different age, a different time. you are through with the red roses and the candlelit dinners. maybe taking a bath to jell-o together would be fine after a night out at a symphony.
keep the faith. move on. love is not lost. it is just around the corner waiting to be retrieved from the recycle bin
today is feb 5,2008. 
. this date may not seem important to anyone else in the world but it meant a lot to us.
at a fine restaurant just the two of us.
, he's got 2 client calls for ocular visits. that leaves our plan behind. and that leaves me celebrating our 8th year anniversary alone
with the kids.
though we only talk for a minute but it filled my heart with joy. he may be physically away but he always stays close to my heart
every minute of the day.
......'til the end of time.
of your daily life. do not wish for the excitement
in the lives of grown-ups. do not moan over how boring 
, thrilling
as long you take time to enjoy
the little pleasures
within your reach. years later, when you're an adult 
and have a family
you could enjoy them again..... they'll linger
in your memory for years and when you are old
, you'll admit that those days were the happiest
in your life.
