Mike Lee (aka The World’s Toughest Programmer) wrote an excellent blog post called Lucas, which details the loss of graphics programmer Lucas Newman from Delicious Monster, the Mac software house that is responsible for Delicious Library.
It’s a wonderful post, if a bit wordy, as many of Lee’s posts are.
Nonetheless, Mike Lee is an eloquent writer, and when when he hits his
groove, he occasionally says something so well that it makes me stand
up and take notice, what with me being a writing and grammar and
general word geek.
In Lucas, Lee makes an excellent observation on the
difference between being in love with another person and being a peer,
in the truest partnership sense of the word. Even though I’m going to
yank a few paragraphs a bit out of their intended context, I think
they’ll stand on their own just fine.
People love to talk about love. They love to misquote 1
Corinthians: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does
not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it
is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always preserves.â€
Which is to say that love is imaginary. Love is some kind of
platonic ideal that doesn’t exist in this world, because the human
emotion we call love is hot and short. It leads to divorce, to murder,
to suicide, and to selfishness. Oh, but that’s not true love, they say.
Maybe not, but it’s certainly real love. The truest thing I’ve ever
heard about love is that, in any relationship, one person always loves
the other more.
On the other hand, a peer relationship is a reciprocal relationship.
It’s having someone to teach things to, but also to learn things from.
It’s having someone to show things to, but also having someone to show
you things. It’s understanding and being understood. It’s being equal
in your inequality, and being enriched by your differences.
Take some time and really think about that.
Sometimes people ask me why I like country music and I have a hard time answering the question. I know I love it more than any other kind of music, but I can't put my finger on exactly why. Believe me, it's a lot easier to explain your love for "Kind of Blue" or "Odessey & Oracle" than to put your admiration for George Jones into persuasive words.
Lefty Frizzell - Always Late (With Your Kissess) (mp3) (buy album).
Troubled