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Suicide

 

2 Lovers plan to suicide.

Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind.

Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.

............ ......... ......... ............ ........

 

 

A gorgeous girl walks up 2 a  a professor's cabin and says I  will do anything 2 pass in the exam.
Professor: anything ! ?

Girl: ya
Prof: open your books and study.

............ ......... ......... ............ ........

 

 

May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol,

And decrease sorrows like clothes of Bipasha Basu

............ ......... ......... ............ ........

 

 

Teacher: (1)There is a frog, (2)Ship is sinking, (3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg. Then, what is my age?
STUDENT: 32 yrs.

Teacher: How do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

 

Tags: Jokes

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.
 
Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.

 
Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.
 
Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him.

 
Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly.
 
The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?"

 
Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

Tags: Joke

what goes around

 

 

One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help.


So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.


He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was those chills which only fear can put in you.


He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."


Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough.  

Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.


As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.


Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him.

Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped.

Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.


He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.


A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps.

The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair.

She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude.

The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.


After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door.

She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.


There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."


Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.


Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard....


She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."


There is an old saying "What goes around comes around."

Tags: Story

This is truely a good one!!

Tags: Essay

WRONG NUMBER

 

It was the day of her son's XII results and she was so tensed. She sat beside him while he logged on the website with his registration no. "Ma", he screamed in excitement," I scored 1191, with centum in 4 subjects.

I cant believe it. " She kinda became numb in my excitement. Her eyes became wet. She kissed him on his forehead and smiled.

Soon they realized that he stood first in the state. Oh, her joy knew no bounds when Reporters and media persons soon swamped her house for interviews and photos. She was so honored to join him in the snaps.

She wanted to call her "wrong-number- friend" to tell him the news......She was so excited. He was someone whom she has known for more than 20 years.

She still did not remember when they became friends, but certainly cannot forget the first day he called her when she blasted him for giving her so many wrong calls.....after that he had called up a week later asking apology, for he had now got the right no of his friend whom he wanted to talk to .  They spoke for an hour that day...even without knowing each other's names.
Though he kept pestering her to reveal her name she never did and so he kept a name...Sweety. She used to get so shy whenever he called her 'Sweety'. She was doing first year of BSc. Maths then, and he was a Computer Engineering
student.

From then he used to call her very often . They almost discussed everything ..

By the final year of her college, they probably were in love, but she had been cautious. She was in a dilemma whether to tell him. But what if he was of a different religion? Does she have the courage to talk to her parents about it? ........all these questions ran through her mind.

She decided tat she'll not talk to him thereafter. When he called next time she lied to him that she was going to Delhi for her post graduation. He gave her his office number and asked her to ring him up once she reach there.

She never called .......

A couple of months later her marriage got fixed with a guy of her parent's choice. She was not happy but she did not complain; rather accepted it as an obedient daughter. At times she felt she missed her wrong- number- friend...... .

Her hubby was a moody person; she has hardly spent any good time with him- but he was genuine indeed and never bothered her personal space. After 2 years they had a boy... Yet,she was not very happy with her married life... One day she happened to browse through her diary and found that she still had her old friend's office phone no that he had given her. she dialed it and spoke with him. He said he was married and got a kid too. She was happy for him though in the bottom of the heart she felt bad that she could not marry him.

From then she used to occasionally call him on that number. She never gave him hers as I felt that would put her in trouble.. And till today she almost shared everything with him including her relationship with her hubby..... today she was so happy and wanted to call him.

Just then she got a call. "Your husband met with an accident and died on the spot"

She banged the phone down. She broke. She did not call her friend.....She somehow started feeling guilty. She has never tried to talk to him properly when he was alive or moved close with him.... She felt that she had been a bad wife........

A couple of years passed and one day her son brought home a Bengali girl and said they wanted to get married. She got them married as she did not want her son to go through what she did.

She decided to give her son his father's room and started clearing it. There was a phone book. She gently opened it to find, "Wrong No Sweety -26579785"

God always puts the right numbers together. Its we who interpret it wrong!!!!!

Tags: Story

10 LAWS OF COMPUTING

 

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though
you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point where you really
understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

3. The first place to look for information is in the
section of the manual where you'd least expect to find
it.

4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite
malfunction.

6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your
mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.

7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.

8. The number one cause of computer problems is
computer solutions.

9. A complex system that doesn't work is invariably
found to have evolved from a simpler system that
worked just fine.

10. A computer program will always do what you tell it
to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

Tags: Laws

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