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Viewing 10 - 15 out of 15 Blogs.
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2 Dost Suicide karne gae, Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari nafrat
de Pareshani de Duk de!" Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha hai ki
ICICI BANK mai Job.
Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U
Continue to do so.
Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag
Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a
conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.
A Chinese pair accidentally had twins without getting married, Guess what
they named them... Jo Hua, So Hua.
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour
..??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character thik ho
jaaega.....
Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya hoga....???
Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
biwi: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar
pahunch jaate hai.
Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person
asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!
Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat.....
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....??
Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..??
Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!!
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days
time?
Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions
Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey.
Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!!
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. Man says "Chin Yu Yan" and dies. Sardar goes to China to find meaning of friends last words. It is "you're standing on the oxygen tube!!"
A sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form, he had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know why? Form says " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up - we must find & stop her!
Sardar: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar: If only the winner will get the cup, why others are running?
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin. Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater. Again twins & named Max & Climax.Again the same. Disgusted Sardar named them TIRED & RETIRED!
A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function. Suddenly all relatives beat him. Why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "you will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat, goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardar: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.........WHY? Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light".
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure also what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!
One sardarji Professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100thfloor. At 50th
floor he remembers I don't have a daughter! At 25th floor: I'm unmarried! At 10th floor: I'm Banta not Santa
On a romantic date Sardar's girl friend asks him "Darling on our engangement will you give me a ring? He said "Ya, sure what's your phone number?
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have an Aitel phone but still Hutch network is following me.
Sardar wins 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 crore after deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs back.!
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman:- I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.
Sardar:- why did u come so far? Instead u could have posted it....
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
Sardar and his wife buy coffee in a shop. Sardar says: Drink quickly.
Wife asks: why?? Sardar says: hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10.
Sardar's wish: when i die, i wanna to die like my grandpa who died peacefuly in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving....
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Flash news: A two seater plane crashed in a Graveyard in Punjab. Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
A man asked Sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so? "It'z doubly interesting", said the
Sardar. "to start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning.
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked: what you are doing? He said: i'm seeing how i look while sleeping.
The most romantic first line and most unromantic second
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space
I saw your face as you walked by
but then I saw a better guy
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
parts vodka, one part lime
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"
Here is a funny joke about a Indian boy on his first day at school in
the USA
It was the first day of school and a new student named
Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrashekhar, who had his
hand
up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.
"Very good!" Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for
the
People, shall not perish from the Earth?"
Again, no response except from Chandrashekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863"
said Chandrashekhar.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be
ashamed. Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more!
about its
history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Chandrashekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime
Minister,
1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!"
Chandrashekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to
the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said "You little ???. If you
say
anything else, I'll kill you."
Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary
Condit to
Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on
the
floor, someone said, "Oh ???, we're f**ked!"
And Chandrashekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005.....
Bihari Essay "Indian Cow" (REALLY super!)
Please find below the essay written in high angrezi. Bihar
Essay.........from Dr SS Agrawal
You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.
This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the
UPSC(IAS)Examinations. Candidate has written an essay on the Indian
cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And
because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got
child.]
He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are
afterwards.
His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes
from
4 taps attached to his basement.
[ horses dont have any such attachment ]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed
milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and
mankind
generally.
His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species.,
Also his other motion.. [gober] is much useful to trees, plants as
well as
for making flat cakes[like Pizza ], in hand, and drying in the sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside
of
the
mouth.
He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and
defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great
velocity forwards.
He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar
animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side.
This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive
bod!
y hereupon he gives hit with it.
The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head
is
not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking
down on the ground and he shouts .
His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.This is the
cow.......
We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.and is now an
IAS,
is
bihar in somewhere,..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]
This is some of my funniest songs i ever read .......pplz do read n leave ur presious comments......
Desi Bryan Adams kaisa gayega Summer Of 69??
I had my first real six rupees,
stole it from my father's pants.
went to a madrasi hotel,
to eat the sambhar of 69.
Me and some kadke dost,
had it all and we caught bukhaar,
jimy puked, joey got ulcers,
and Bagga ne maari dakar.
Oh when I went back there now,
the food was as stale as ever,
and though it was 1999,
still the sambhar was being served over there,
that was the worst food of my life
Therez no use in complaining,
when you got no other place to eat,
rushed in the evening to the doctors clinic, but he too was at the toilet seat, yeah
standing there waiting outside,
nurse told me I will wait forever,
oh and when I held my breath,
I knew that I had to use that loo there
That was the worst food of my life.
Back to the sambhar of 69
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