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A Teenager is... A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number. A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast. A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday. Someone who can hear a song by the Back Street Boys played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room. A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't...
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It was so hot, Michael Jackson's nose evaporated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !
It was so hot, I was sweating more than R. Kelly at the Teen Choice awards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway. The good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered . . . 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. 3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. 4.Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... 5. All reports are in; life is now officially...
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Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses. -Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. -Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants. -Bathhouses are against the law. -In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs. -No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. -Women may not drive in a house coat. -It is a misdemeanor to shoot at...
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