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POSTED BY: Founder on 21/02/2008 12:32:52


  • Teenager Jamie Lynn Spears becomes a grandmother when her daughter is born pregnant.
  • The Bush administration somehow destroys all record of the past seven years.
  • Global warning finally hits home when Joan Rivers' face melts on the red carpet at the Emmy awards.
  • Dozens of Olympians hospitalized after kissing lead-coated medals.
  • Al Gore wins yet another coveted prize when he dominates the Coney Island hot-dog eating contest.
  • President Bush pulls the U.S. Olympic team from Beijing, demanding, "Mr. Chinese fella, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!"

  • J.K. Rowlings reveals that her next book will be about gay wizard
    Dumbledorf's younger, pre-wizard days as a prominent and openly
    homophobic, conservative U.S. Senator with a predilection for cruising
    busy airport men's rooms for anonymous sex.
  • Ignored by the media for several weeks, Paris Hilton explodes.

  • Bill Clinton fails in his primary campaign when he nails Mrs. Kucinich
    and Mrs. Thompson, but only gets to third base with Mrs. Obama.
  • Simultaneously revealed: Liza Minnelli's longevity secret *and* her addiction to formaldehyde.
  • The impact of the television writers' strike becomes very real when ABC announces its new reality show, "I've Got Your Nose."
  • After citing an obscure and arcane Constitutional law, Dick Cheney unhinges his jaw and eats Nancy Pelosi.
  • A typo in New York City's health code results in a city-wide ban of tranny fatties from restaurants.
  • During a debate, Mike Huckabee accidentally casts the moderator into the fiery pits of Hell.
  • Angelina Jolie saves two more children from third-world conditions by adopting Britney Spears' kids.

    and the Number 1 Predicted Scandal of 2008...

  • Hillary Clinton fails a steroid test -- and forgetfully pees into the cup standing up.




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