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Worms
Posted On 10/09/2007 06:42:27

Worms ....


 

 

 


A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about The evils of liquor ,

So he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water,

A glass of
whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

"
Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked. Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded,


 


"Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."


Five questions its great...Feel proud...
Posted On 06/09/2007 03:44:48
Five questions its great...Feel proud...  

1. What programming language is GOOGLE developed in?

 

2. What is the expansion of YAHOO?

 

3. What is the expansion of ADIDAS?

 

4. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network?

 

5. What is expansion of "ICICI?"

 

6. What does "baker's dozen" signify?

 7. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot - India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*.

    Match abandoned. Why?

 

8. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems for two different countries?

 

9. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?

 

10. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?

 

11. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?

 

12. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?

 

13. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?

 14. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned from international cricket and later

       represented Zimbabwe ?

 

15. The faces of which four Presidents are carved at Mt.Rushmore?

 

16. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by only one country (other than Vatican )?

 

17. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?

  

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................................. .HERE ARE THE ANSWERS 

1. Google is written in Asynchronous java- and XML, or its acronym Ajax.

 

2. Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle

 

3. ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports

 

4. Satellite Television Asian Region

 

5. Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India

 

6. A baker's dozen consists of 13 items - 1 more than the items in a normal dozen

 

7. That match was abandoned after people heard the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.

 8. Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different countries one is our 's National anthem and another one

is for Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla)

 

9. Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: 'god be with you'.

 

10. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa.

 

11. South Korea ...

 

12. Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)

 

13. Geoffrey Boycott

 

14. John Traicos

 

15. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln

 

16. Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa ..

 17. Polo.     

IF MEN GOT PREGNANT
Posted On 06/09/2007 03:17:00
IF MEN GOT PREGNANT
 

 

 


Maternity leave would last two years... With full pay.


There would be a cure for stretch marks.


Natural childbirth would become obsolete.


Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.


All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.


Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.


Men would be eager to talk about commitment.


They wouldn't think twins were so cute.


Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM


Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.


Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.


They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.


Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.


Women would rule the
world!!


Jealous Husband
Posted On 06/09/2007 03:15:39
Jealous Husband

 

 

 


A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.


A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.


"
I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.


The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun
!"


Mom
Posted On 06/09/2007 03:15:12


Mom

God saw you were getting tired and a cure was not to be......
so he put His arms around you and whispered,
"Come to Me"....
 With tearful eyes I watched you,
and saw you pass away....
Although I loved you dearly....
I could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke my heart to prove to me
He only takes the best.
Rose in Black & White



oh LoVe
Posted On 06/09/2007 03:14:37
oh LoVe...

 

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.

 

I've learned the full meaning

of sharing and caring

and having my dreams all come true;

I've learned the full meaning

of being in love

by being and loving with you...

How men get into trouble !!!
Posted On 06/09/2007 03:14:01
How men get into trouble !!!

 

 

 


One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, " Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"
Is this your axe?
" the Lord asked. 



The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "
Is this your axe?
" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

******

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "
Why are you crying?
"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"
Is this your wife?
" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez , You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so
THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez
."


Don't Take It Seriously
Posted On 24/08/2007 08:04:13
 Don't Take It Seriously

 

 

 

 


When the DOCTOR says, Take off your clothes.


*********

When the DENTIST says, Open wide.


*********

When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown?


*********




When the MILKMAN says, Do you want it in the front or the back?


*********

When the INTERIOR DECORATOR says,
Once it's in, you'll love it.


*********

When the SHARE BROKER says, It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again.


*********

When the BANKER says,
If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest .


*********

When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.


*********

When the TELEPHONE GUY says,
Would you like it On the table or against the wall?



*********


What Do u Guess
Posted On 23/08/2007 09:02:28


 


 


 Okay, what did you guess?

The truth revealed........Scroll down



 


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This kid's gonna hate his Mom for this some day :)


 




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