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Here are some sayings from School.....smile! . 
Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher:
Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'
Teacher:
How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered.... ..
"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining. ...
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly. ...
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and !
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good.
She is special!
Please send this to women you know, and those with mothers,
sisters, and special women in their lives.
But, also send this to men so they will understand about what a wonderful thing a woman is.
Love Your Mother Always And Keep Her Smiling
1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.
Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside
. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!
5. Every lady hopes
that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said
, he who never lived, cannot die!
7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!
8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,
but we chose Marriage, slow sure!
9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???
12. When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart,
When tears flows from your eyes always say these words…
Eh Ganpat, chal daru la…
13. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
&nb sp; &nb sp; &nb sp; &nb sp;
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself
1 . If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.
3 . Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
4 . A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
5 . Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
6 . If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
7 . I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
8 . Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
9 . Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
10 . SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
11 . The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.
12 . If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"
13 . We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
14 . Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
15 . A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
16 . If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
17 . Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
´♥` 　　´♥` There was a Blind Gurl 　　　´♥` WhO Hate Herself 　　　´♥` cOz Of being Blind. 　　　´♥` She Hate every1 　　´♥` Except her Boy friend.. 　´♥` 1 day de Gurl said 　´♥` that if She can 　´♥` Only c the wOrld 　　´♥` she will marry her bOyfriend, 　　　´♥` One day sOme1 　　　´♥` dOnated eyes On her 　　　´♥` & then she saw Every thing 　　´♥`including her bOyfriend , 　´♥` her bOyfriend ask her, 　´♥` "nOw that u can c , 　´♥` will u Marry Me?", 　　´♥` the girl was shOcked when 　　　´♥` she saw her bOyfriend 　　　´♥` is alsO Blind, 　　　´♥` & she refuse tO Marry him. 　　´♥` Her bOyfriend walk away 　´♥` with Tears & said, 　´♥` " just take care Of 　´♥` my eyes dear. 　　´♥` Ok........ 　　　´♥`
Shall I compare you to a flower?
No! Because when plucked
It does not stay for an hour.
Shall I compare you to a star?
No! Because it can be
Admired only from far.
Shall I compare you to the birds then?
No! Because they ever keep
Soaring high in the sky.
Shall I compare you to the moon light?
No! Because the moon shines
Only at night.
So, to whom shall I compare you
Can I compare you ever?
Ah! To no one but you!
Because there is no one like U!!!!
CUTE LOVE STORY- A BOY HAD CANCER AND HE HAD ONE MONTH TO LIVE.HE LIKED A GIRL WORKING IN A CD SHOP VERY MUCH. BUT HE DID NOT TELL HER ABOUT HIS LUV. EVERYDAY HE WENT TO THE CD SHOP AND BOUGHT A CD ONLY TO TALK TO HER. AFTER A MONTH HE DIED. WHEN THE GIRL WENT HIS HOME AND ASKED ABOUT HIM,HIS MOM TOLD THAT HE DIED AND TOOK HER TO HISROOM..................................... SHE SAW ALL THE CD'S UNOPENED ............... THE GIRL CRIED N CRIED N FINALLY DIED. YOU KNOW Y SHE CRIED? COZ SHE HAD KEPT HER OWN LUV LETTERS INSIDE THE CD PACKS. SHE ALSO LUVED HIM............. moral of the story: if u love someone......say to him directly don't wait for the destiny to play the role.. if u pass this message to every one in ur list ur love will come true.... WAT A BAKWAAS>>>.PLZ COMMENT ON DIS 
An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why?
Because the bananas are made of plastic.
Next…Q
The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?
Because the elephant is made of plastic.
Hahhaa…never give up…one more..
Now,
Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
Because the bananas are in the TV.
Ooops!!! Cool down…
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
Because they are on different channels.
Hohohohoohohoh. .hehehe
Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
Cmon think
Because the TV is off.
Kikikikikiki..
Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas.Why?
Itna kyun soch rahe ho yaar..Kya bigada hain usne aapka...Khane do ;)
wat's up
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