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Total Views: 234 - Total Replies: 7

POSTED BY: fam_1 on 21/07/2007 16:27:36


hi pals.................

post best jokes th8 tend u to laugh n rate above person joke..............




POSTED BY: fam_1 on 21/07/2007 16:31:09


HUSBAND - HI DEAR, I AM LOGGED IN.

WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS?
HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.

WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE?
HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.

WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING!
HUSBAND - SYNTAX ERROR; " ABORT,RETRY,CANCEL ".

WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN! FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY?
HUSBAND - FILE IN USE, READ ONLY, TRY AFTER SOME TIME.


WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO
SOME SHOPPING.
HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION, ACCESS DENIED.

WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRYING YOU!
HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.

WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.
HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.

WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING?

HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE; PRESS CTRL+ALT+DEL TO
REBOOT.

WIFE - WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN YOU & YOUR
RECEPTIONIST?
HUSBAND - THE ONLY USER WITH WRITE PERMISSION(FULL
ACCESS).

WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE?
HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.

WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER?
HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.

WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.
HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION, It WILL
CLOSE.

WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.
HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER
USER.

WIFE - It IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU.
HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.

WIFE - I AM GOING
HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.
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POSTED BY: Silvermist on 23/07/2007 01:17:34


One young man went for an IAS Interview.





"When did India get independence? " He was asked.



"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He replied.



"Who was responsible for our independence? "



"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice

to another." He replied. "Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"



"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only

after seeing the report" He replied.



The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful

answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they were

planning to ask the same questions.



When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He

politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least

tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.



Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume

was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is

your date of birth?"



He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947."



Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers name?"



He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will be injustice to another".



The interviewer was incensed.



"Hey! Are you mad or what?"



He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only after seeing the report




















--------------------------------------------------------------
To love someone is one thing, to be loved is another, to be loved by the one you love is everything.
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POSTED BY: fam_1 on 23/07/2007 19:28:15


Once all the scientists die and go to
heaven............ They decide
to play hide-n-seek.........Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has
the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start
searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front
of Einstein...........

Einstein's counting
1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton
standing in front........

Einstein says "newton's out..newton's....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims that he is not Newton......

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not
Newton..........

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That
makes me Newton per meter squared...... since one Newton per meter squared
is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT...........!
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POSTED BY: fam_1 on 23/07/2007 19:34:49


Newton in Romantic mood!

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from
One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money. "



first law:

"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy."



second law:

" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance."



third law:

"the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals
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POSTED BY: Silvermist on 23/07/2007 21:16:33


George Bush goes to a primary
school to give a speech. After his talk he offers question time. One
little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.



"Bob".



"And what is your question, Bob?"



"I have 3 questions.



First........... Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?



Second...... Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?



And third.... What happened to Osama Bin Laden?"



Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.



When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right -------question time. Who has a question?"



A different little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is.



"Steve"



And what is your question, Steve?"



"I have 5 questions.



First.......... Why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?



Second..... Why are you President when Kerry got more votes?



Third........ What happened to Osama Bin Laden?



Fourth...... Why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?!



And fifth... Where is "Bob"???
















--------------------------------------------------------------
To love someone is one thing, to be loved is another, to be loved by the one you love is everything.
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POSTED BY: fam_1 on 23/07/2007 23:11:11


Lalloo went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton.
Clinton says “Lalloo, I want to show you the technological progress of US, come with me”.
Clinton takes Lalloo into deep forest and ask Lalloo to start digging. Tired Lalloo looks at Bill Clinton but
Bill tells “Dig further don't stop”. Lalloo starts again. Bill says “More , more”.
Finally at 200 feet Lalloo finds a wire.
Lalloo says “Bill, I found the wire”.
Bill says “You see that proves we had telephone 100 years back”.

Frustrated Lalloo at the end of US tour invites Bill Clinton to Bihar. Later when Clinton arrives in Bihar
Lalloo tells Clinton “Come with me and I will show you the progress made by Bihar”.
Lalloo takes Bill to the forest and ask him to dig. After some time Bill Clinton stops and look at Lalloo.
Lalloo says “Bill Saheb go on digging”. After sometime Bill gets tired and looks at Lalloo.
Lalloo says “Go on digging don't stop” Bill Clinton digs further and reaches 200 feet and finds nothing.
Frustrated Bill Clinton “What is this, I don't find anything even at 200 feet”.
Lalloo laughs and says “Sir, that is our progress, 100 years ago we had gone wireless telephone
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POSTED BY: fam_1 on 23/07/2007 23:35:24


Jokes

Year: 2020

Place: Two Americans at IBM, USA.

Currency Conversion Rate: Rs. 1/- = US$ 100/-.

Alex : Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?

John : Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.

John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex : How long it took to get it stamped?

John
: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of
me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed. I
went there at 2 am itself and waited and returned by 4 pm.

Alex : Really? In India, it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA.

John : Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.

Alex : So, when are you leaving?

John
: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you
know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come
true.

Alex : How long are you going to stay in India.

John : What
do you mean by how long. I will be settled in India, my company has
promised me that they will process my Hara Patta.

Alex : Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India.

John : Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.

Alex : But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad, Bangalore and Mumbai.

John : But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.

Alex : Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?

John : Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 1000/- for a single room accommodation.

Alex : I see, that's too much for US people, Rs. 1/- = $ 100/-. Oh God! What about in Chennai, Mumbai?

John : No idea, but it is less than what we have in Hyderabad. It is like the world headquarters of Software.

Alex : I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.

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09/06/2026



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