-=CHEMISTRY OF A WOMAN=-
Woman - A Chemical Analysis
Element : Woman
Symbol : WO
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 59, but known to vary 50-88.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurance : Copious quantities in all Urban areas,
with slighlty lower concentrations in
Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to
seasonal fluctuations.
Physical Properties
1) Surface usually covered with sticks painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given special treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
5) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
7) Undergoes inpredicatable spontaneous dehydrolyses (weeps).
Chemical Properties :
1) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many of the Precious
Stones.
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
4) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
5) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
6) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.
Uses : Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
Can cool things down when it's too hot.
Tests : Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered
in natural state.
Turns green when placed beside a better
specimen OF THE SAME SPECIES.
Caution : 1) Highly dangerous except in experienced
hands. Use extreme care when handling.
2) Illegal to possess more than one.
Tags: Girlwoman
