wow..yes. you are right. it is a way of saying i am making mistakes and not learning from them! thank you. you have simplified something that has been bothering me for quite some time. i guess that is why i say stupidly optimistic!
my discontent comes from a very bad marriage and if that didn't smack me in the face hard one, i jumped right into a relationship which caused the rest of my heart considerable injury. i love to say live and learn...but seems like i am having a hard time learning.