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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. ''Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'' Watson replies, ''I see millions of stars.'' ‘‘what does that tell you?'' Watson ponders for a minute. ''Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears... Read More

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving and sees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her -- but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he... Read More

*Take his nightstick and play whack-a-mole with his head. *Ask the cop if you can use his pepper spray to “spice up” your takeout. *Take his flashlight and play flashlight tag with yourself. *When he walks up to you, look at his gut and say “I thought you had to be physically fit to be a cop.” *Draw happy faces on all the pages in his ticket book. *Ask if his bulletproof vest would protect him from projectile vomiting. *Ask him if you can take his squad car out for a joy ride.... Read More

Eye to Eye hat did the right eye say to the left eye? Just between you and me. Something smells.

There was a cop on his horse waiting to cross the road when a little boy on his new shiny bike stopped beside him. ''Nice bike,'' the cop said, ''did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yep,'' the little boy said, ''he sure did!'' The cop looked at the bike and while handing the boy a $20 ticket he said, ''Next year, tell Santa to put a license plate on the back of it.'' To go along with the cop, the little boy said, ‘‘nice horse you got their sir, did Santa bring it to you?'' ''Yes, He su... Read More

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