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A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not does it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night. He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE... Read More

Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box? She sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to lie to her.... Read More

What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? A thirty-foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.... Read More

Little DJ has his first day at school. His Mom was real worried, and when she picked him up from school at the end of the day, she anxiously asked him how his day went. 'Well, I came top of the class in Math, I made a touchdown in football, and I had sex with the teacher.' 'What! How dare you! Get into your room and wait till your father gets home!' Little DJ goes to his room, and when his father comes home, DJ's mom tells his father, 'I'm absolutely disgusted with DJ. He said he came top... Read More

There are some children in a class naming animals and they come across a picture of a deer. So the teacher asks Bobby, “What is this animal called?” “I don’t know,” claims Bobby. So then she says, “I'll give you a hint—it's what your mother calls your father.” The boy thinks for a minute and then says, “Oh that's what a son of a bitch looks like!”... Read More

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