Viewing 4556 - 4560 out of 4601

<< First  < Previous | Page:  910 | 911 | 912 | 913 | 914 | Next >  Last >>

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Q: What did the can say to the can opener? A: You make me flip my lid.

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was... Read More

A visiting professor at the University of Montana is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands. “Well that's a good start,” says the professor, “Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?” About 40 students raise their hands. “That's really good,” continues the professor, “I'm really glad you take this seri... Read More

Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism — EAT ME! God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit. I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. Keep honking while I reload. Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G? Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.... Read More

<< First  < Previous | Page:  910 | 911 | 912 | 913 | 914 | Next >  Last >>