Viewing 4501 - 4505 out of 4601

<< First  < Previous | Page:  899 | 900 | 901 | 902 | 903 | Next >  Last >>

Q: What has 128 legs and no pubic hair? A: The front row in a BSB concert.

Little jonny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. he decided to ask his shrink what to do. the shrink said, 'since christmas is coming up, you should ask luke what he wants santa to bring him. if he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog s*** in place of the gifts or gifts he requests.' two days before christmas, luke's father asked him what he wanted for christmas. 'i want a damn teddy bear lying right beside me when i wake up. when i go... Read More

That little bastard Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his parents in the act. Before his Dad can even react, little Johnny exclaims, 'Oh boy! Horsey ride. Daddy can I ride on your back?' Daddy, relieved that Johnny was not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to... Read More

That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim? Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think I'll go introduce myself! His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and I'm happy for them both. If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody. He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him. I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day... Read More

Having a man in your life is like a deck of cards: You need a heart to love them. You need a diamond to marry them. You need a club to beat them. And you need a spade to bury the bastards.... Read More

<< First  < Previous | Page:  899 | 900 | 901 | 902 | 903 | Next >  Last >>