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Three football codes prevail in Ireland: Rugby, which is defined as a thugs' game played by gentlemen; soccer - a gentleman's game played by thugs; and Gaelic football - a thugs' game played by thugs!... Read More

At Swindon: SWINDON TOWN IS MAGIC! And underneath: WATCH THEM DISAPPEAR FROM THE SECOND DIVISION! Dumbarton, Scotland: JESUS SAVES! And underneath: DUMBARTON SHOULD SIGN HIM FOR GOAL! Second Division Club: STOCKTON -ON-TEAS FOR THE CUP! Republican area of Belfast: BRITS OUT! Under which someone had added: EXCEPT CHARLTON, SATTERS, TOWNSEND, SHEEDY AND ALDRIDGE... Read More

In the heat of the game, one of the players threw a vicious punch the victim was all set to get -stuck into him when the referee rushed up and held him back. 'Now then, O'Hara! You know you mustn't retaliate!' 'Come on ref!' said O'Hara. 'He retaliated first!'... Read More

1) You try to enter your password on the microwave. 2) You now think of three espressos as ''getting wasted.'' 3) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years. 4) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 5) You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back, ''What's for dinner?'' 6) Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 7) You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Afri... Read More

Real Engineers consider themselves well dressed if their socks match. Real Engineers buy their spouses a set of matched screwdrivers for their birthday. Real engineers have a non-technical vocabulary of 800 words. Real Engineers repair their own cameras, telephones, televisions, watches, and automatic transmissions.... Read More

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