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Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs? A: Trustworthy.

An old man hands over 50 quid to the turnstyle operator at Celtic Park Man: Two please. Turnstyle Operator: Sir, will that be Defenders or Strikers?... Read More

Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God? A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.

Ski season is here. The following is a list of exercises to help you prepare: - Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use. - Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night. - If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. - Throw away a hundred dollar bill - now. - Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pret... Read More

Did you hear Dale Earnhardt was arrested for drugs? They found everything but speed on him.

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