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| POSTED BY: chithu on 27/12/2007 06:35:13 |
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TRUST
TRUST
is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken,
it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,
suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result
in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a
phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.
She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to
cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.
Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the
couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of
"PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife
for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in
mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not
find a better husband than
you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected.
Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a
mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger
at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we
point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at
ourselves.
If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A
person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and
requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable
one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good
looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and
dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories
when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to
rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you
need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found
between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot
see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the
nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting
stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when
the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that
marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many
relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or
demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer
all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries
the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a
person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on
changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and
unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There
is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will
either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because
of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always
forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A
friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A
worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me?
We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her
millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you
will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should
appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire
and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different
people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's
poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy
commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon
hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked
besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is
the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the
husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let
the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented,
"How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no
gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on
the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how
can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you."
Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the
donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow
bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their
balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise
you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present,
and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This
is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his
home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son
was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man
ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into
pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to
the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed
bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's
hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged
stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he
asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge.
Think first before u
lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken
bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize
the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that
forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Have A Nice Day !
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